Friday, 28 February 2014

The way things work out in India ( THE ANT-GRASSHOPPER STORY RETOLD )

Despite of being the largest democracy in the world, we are far behind in nearly every respect from the rest of the world. It is a thing to ponder that who is responsible for this state of affairs even after 67 years of Independence.

You all might have heard of the original Ant and Grasshopper story . Well I am here with a new latest version of the story according to present state of affairs of India. It is a kind of parody or the corrupted version of the original story.  Although the parody was not written by me but I have suitably abridged and modified it according to the need while trying to retain the central theme as much as possible. So here we go :


THE ANT AND GRASSHOPPER STORY- ORIGINAL VERSION
The Ant Works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs, dances and plays all the summer. With the onset of winter the Ant's hard work pays off and it and its family are warm and well fed. While the Grasshopper has no food or shelter so it dies in the cold.




THE ANT AND GRASSHOPPER STORY- INDIAN VERSION
The Ant works hard in the withering heat all summer building its house and laying up supplies for the winter. The Grasshopper thinks the Ant is a fool and laughs, dances and plays all the summer. When the winter comes the Ant and its family are well fed and are warm.
The Grasshopper as usual has no food or shelter. But here the shivering Grasshopper calls for a PRESS CONFERENCE and demands to know, “why the Ant be allowed to be warm and warm and well fed while others are cold and starving?".

NDTV, BBC, CNN, ABPnews, AAJTAK show up to provide pictures of the shivering Grasshopper next to a video of the Ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.
 The whole world is stunned by the sharp contrast. Everybody wonders, " How can the poor Grasshopper be allowed to suffer so?".
Soon numerous online petitions are launched seeking justice for the Grasshopper. Many of them even promised heaven or ever-lasting peace for prompt support as against the wrath of god for non-compliance.( Can you Believe it?)

A Booker prize novelist turned self proclaimed activist ( She has been supportive of cause of many  secessionist organisations working against the country in the past ) called Mrs. RA stages a demonstration in front of the Ant's house.

Another well known lady activist ( She has a habit of going to fast whenever a developmental project is carried out in the country so as to protect the environment.) called Mrs. M goes on to fast ( as expected! )
demanding that Grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter.

Another leader ( she is also a woman, yo! GIRL POWER! and the so-called camaraderie of backward communities) states the situation as ' injustice ' on depressed community of Grasshopper.

Opposition members of parliament stage a walk out. so-called Socialist parties' leaders call for bandh in the states where they have strong foothold.

The government of a southern state passes a law to ban the Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among Ants and Grasshoppers. 

The bollywood organizes a grand charity function to show solidarity with the Grasshopper. The king of the bollywood hosts the show which is held in Venetian Macau and is aired all over the world. The star attraction of the show is not the Grasshopper but the glam-dolls of the bollywood ( Who don't know anything apart from belly-dancing, not even acting). From this show the whole world realizes the real pain and suffering of the Grasshopper. ( you can guess better! ). 

Amnesty international decides to intervene in to the contentious issue and the UN criticizes the Indian Government for not upholding the rights of Grasshopper. 

Meanwhile the Indian Space Research Organisation places a satellite in to the orbit to ensure 24-hour high speed broadband access to the people. But it is severely criticized by a new wave of self critics in numerous TV interviews calling the mission a wastage of money which could have been better spent on Grasshoppers.

The railway minister ( he has a dubious distinction of siphoning  of cattle fodder  for his personal use, I still wonder what kind of personal use he means?) allocates a free coach to Grasshopper on all Indian trains.

Finally the judicial committee drafts the ' Prevention of Discrimination against the Grasshoppers act ' [PODAGA] effective immediately with the onset of winter.

The government raises the tax bracket of the Ants.


The Ant is fined heavily failing to comply with PODAGA. Having nothing left to pay its retroactive taxes, the  Ant's property is confiscated by Government and is handed over to Grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV, AAJTAK, CNN, ZEE news, ABP news.

Mrs. RA calls it ' A TRIUMPH OF JUSTICE '. 

The railway minister calls it ' Socialist Justice '.

The leaders of socialist parties term it as the ' Revolutionary Upsurge of the Downtrodden Grasshoppers '   .

The head of the organisation which plans the developmental activities for the entire nation ( The person thinks that Rs.32/- a day is enough to make a poor man’s living worthwhile )  calls it a ‘ Equitable Redistribution of National Wealth ’.

The Grasshopper gets a UN invitation to address the UN general assembly.

Meanwhile having nothing left the Ant immigrates to the USA.


Many Years Later: 
The Ant has migrated to US and setup a multi-billion dollar Fortune 500 company in Silicon Valley. In spite of the preferential treatment being given by the government to the Grasshopper it dies due to cold and starvation (The reader knows why? ). The system senses a conspiracy and the investigation is handed over to the elite CBI. CBI uses its innovative investigative methodology (  You know how they do it!  ) and finds the involvement of Ants. Soon the Ant is implicated in the case. After dragging the case for more than 10 years the Ant is extradited from the US and put to jail in India. 
Meanwhile the original home of Ant which was handed over to the Grasshoppers few years back is illegally taken over by the spiders that now terrorize the once peaceful neighbourhood.



MORAL OF THE STORY

As the story unfolds the normal Indian public becomes more and more confused. The country loses its hard-working Ants apart from misguided innocent Grasshoppers who could have proven to be docile workforce while benefiting the anti-social Spiders. The whole world watches us carefully and laughs at us and we still remain a developing country.



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